Relying On My Middle Finger

January 18, 2011

A few days ago I injured my right middle finger. I gouged the top knuckle. If you’ve never been involved in a freak apple-grating accident, you may not know how little is between your knuckle bone and the world just there. Or how much blood is in those few millimeters of the stuff that you are.

My knuckle starts bleeding again whenever I leave the bandage off. I have been favoring my middle finger in order to keep the bandage clean so I don’t have to replace it as often. Too, the bandage makes my middle finger clumsy and unsure of itself: self-conscious, in fact. I keep thinking, “Surely that’s a job for my pointer anyhow,” but I am wrong. My pointer and my middle finger are collaborators on almost (almost) every worthy task. And in every case (almost every case), Pointer gets the credit.

Because there was nothing else to eat for breakfast, I was making a frittata out of leftover potatoes. Two eggs were needed to make it stick together. I cracked the first egg into a bowl. Noticing how potentially bandage-soiling this was, I then gently hyper-flexed my middle finger out of harm’s way and picked up the second egg between my thumb and forefinger alone. It fell on the floor. I cursed, glanced at the ooze slowly leaking out from beneath the top dome of the eggshell, saw how many eggs were left in the box. Without thinking I used all five fingers to scoop up the broken egg. The yolk was whole and there was still a little white. I beat my eggs, made my breakfast, and ate it up.

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10 Responses to “Relying On My Middle Finger”

  1. zibilee said

    Oh no! It sounds like you being unable to utitlize that middle finger is making things really tough for you. I also had a freak finger accident over the holidays, and my hand was pretty much bandaged up over the course of Christmas and the new year. You never realize just how much you use those fingers until you just can’t use them you know? I hope that the knuckle heals quickly and that your egg cracking abilities come back to full restoration. I am so glad to see your post here today too, by the way!

    • trapunto said

      I just keep thinking of Gretel in Sound Of Music, who can’t sing because she has a hurt finger. Sounds like yours was a bad ‘un. Mine is better now, thanks for the sympathy!

  2. Jenny said

    And people never feel as sorry for finger injuries as you feel for yourself! There’s you, bleeding like crazy and in serious finger pain, and people are all, “Oh. Gosh. Huh. What a shame,” whereas if you were bleeding that much from, say, your head, everyone would feel very sorry for you indeed. But don’t worry. I feel very sorry for you! Losing the use of a finger can be incapacitating! Poor thing!

    • trapunto said

      How right you are: head wounds get all the glory. I just read a terrible description of a concussion victim last night. Even reading it made me wince. I doubt it would be possible to write an equally wince-inducing description of a hurt finger. (Normal hurt finger. Not mangled.) Or even that stomach-sinking feeling when you pinch a tiny bit of skin on your hand in something and you know it’s going to be a blood blister–you couldn’t write that so that someone would squirm and feel sick themselves. Or bumping your funny bone. Just doesn’t transmit.

  3. Jeanne said

    Glad to hear your floor is clean enough to eat off of!

    I grate or cut or get paper cuts (sometimes cardboard cuts) on my hands a lot and am often going around with bandaids that stay on for an hour until I do something else in the kitchen. I find that liquid bandaid does a better job on the second day.

    • trapunto said

      Do you write, as I suspect you must, with a mirthfully ironic knowledge of the standard mopping habits of bloggers, or are you serious?

      Any floor is clean enough to eat off of if it is your own floor. The secret is to leave the food that comes into actual physical contact with the floor where it lies, and only pick up what is mounded on top. Then you spot-wash the area with soapy paper towels. A great advantage to this method is long as you make sure to spill something in every part of in your kitchen on a regular basis, you’ll never need to mop.

  4. Jeanne said

    Of course I was mirthfully ironic–that is, unless you were going to be offended…

    In fact, the method of eating off the floor that you describe is exactly the method I use. We have four inside cats, so as a housemate once said, we might as well assume that everything we eat has cat hair in it, anyway.

    Once I turned over an entire pot of chili on the orange carpet in our kitchen. When it didn’t even show, we knew it was past time for new flooring.

    • trapunto said

      Der Mann laughed until he wheezed when I read him this.

      Who thought up kitchen carpets?

      The first week we had our cat, I noticed I was making molasses crinkles with cat hair in them, and said to myself, “Isn’t that peculiar, I wonder how that happened?” It’s been down hill from there.

  5. Have you considered taping the two fingers together? I imagine this would reduce the warping of the skin the bandage is attached too, and maybe make your life a bit easier – and did you use a knuckle bandage? I tend to get cuts on my hands directly before having to pull somethign out of a lemon marinade. This is fate’s little way of disinfecting for me, I like to believe.

    • trapunto said

      Taping two fingers together–no, I did not think of that. I would have got a lot more sympathy, too!

      I did use a knuckle bandages until we ran out. They only put, like, ten of each in a “knuckle and fingertip” box. I felt extravagant buying them. Then I used normal bandages until they ran out, then I used dot-shaped bandages, the ones that are always left over from a mixed box. When those ran out I proclaimed myself healed. Such a racket, bandages. But I like them.

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