Gut Kicked

February 25, 2010

I just lost 10 hours of writing and revision because I was too careful about backing it up.  Basically, overwrote all my saves and auto-saves with the earlier version on my backup device last night.  One click.   Yes, its really, really, gone.  Der Mann helped me establish that beyond the shadow of a doubt.  Nisus “temporary backup file” autosave is a useless pox of a feature.  I don’t think I’ve been this upset since I lost a hard drive.  Since then I’ve so careful.   So I know it could be worse, but it doesn’t feel like it.  My husband has been kind, but I don’t think I can make him understand the full depth of “impossible to reconstruct.”  It’s also really hard to explain to him how the ten hours worth of work fundamentally altered a much longer text, so it feels like I’ve lost that too.  It sounds like histrionics.

Jittery, horrible shock.  I should go out and take a walk.  I stopped to write this while my eyes and face de-reddened enough that I can go out in public.  But then I keep remembering something else I wrote yesterday.  Just the vague shape, and knowing I can’t write it again, and I’m off again.  Now I’m really going to walk.  I can’t decide whether to take a notebook or not, and try to write an outline of stuff I lost.

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3 Responses to “Gut Kicked”

  1. Jenny said

    Oh, no! I’m so, so sorry! I have done this before and it’s utterly shattering. It’s a terrible feeling and people always try to comfort by saying “But you can write it over again, right?” Very very much sympathy.

  2. Nymeth said

    I’m so so sorry 😦

  3. trapunto said

    Thanks guys.

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